Do you think you are amazing? Most of us will automatically shake our heads and answer no or have to consider the answer. Well let me tell you, YOU ARE AMAZING !! We are so hard on ourselves. I know I am always comparing myself to others and putting pressure on myself that I am not clever enough, athletic enough or I could be more productive etc. The list goes on and on, but how often do I say to myself ‘well done’. How often do I think you know what you’re a good person, a great mum and none of that other stuff matters.
I find I was always seeking other people’s approval and waiting for them to tell me I did a good job. That what I did wasn’t good enough unless someone else recognised it and told me that it was. I could work my ass off all day or have an amazing day with the kids where I just nailed it but the house was a mess so it cancelled all the great things I achieved that day. That just because everything wasn’t perfect that means the other stuff wasn’t good enough. There is so much pressure to be perfect and if things aren’t you have failed and it is bullshit. Nothing is perfect and it is an unachievable goal. Do you know what? You do not need someone else to tell you or recognise it to know that you worked hard. Recognise yourself and what you have achieved and celebrate it. Embrace those feelings and be proud.
On those special occasions where we are told we are supposed to be celebrated, how many of you ever feel disappointed or let down. On birthdays, mothers day, valentines day etc did you feel that something was missing and you were disappointed. I have had so many tears on my birthday, some secret and some not so secret waiting to feel ‘special’. Mike is terrible at these things, his brain just doesn’t work like mine. He doesn’t care for those things and he struggles to buy presents, over thinks and it goes terribly wrong. Every damn year. The man is great for money advice, the internet and has a million amazing qualities but this area is a major disaster.
At 34 something clicked and I realised I shouldn’t be putting that on him or anyone else and it is unfair of me to expect that. Why should I put this pressure on Mike when really it is me with the problem and the ability to solve it. This year I decided to celebrate myself and recognise the great things I do. So this Mothers day I planned my own treats (although Mike tried to help and somehow messed it up) but I bought myself gifts and organised what I wanted to say well done on being an amazing mum. Do you know what? I am an amazing mum. Am I perfect? No. Do I get it right all the time? Nope. Am I making it up as I go along? Absolutely. Do I try my best and love them? Yes. Do I do a million things that I would rather not do everyday to keep them fed, happy, entertained, educated and dressed? Yes even when I would rather be doing a million different other things!
The kids sent me cards and that stuff is cute but right now at 2 and 5 they do it because they are told by dad and school to do it. They don’t understand why we need a day to say we love mum. I know they love me and they show it with every cuddle and kiss they give me and I know they won’t last forever. But I now know I don’t need those things to tell me I am a great mum, I know I work my ass off for them and I am doing my best. So I let myself decide how I want to celebrate and not wait for someone else to do it and I am going to do the same on my birthday. There is something nice about others doing it and a whole new level of enlightenment when you realise you are in charge of your own happiness and self worth.
So just take a moment and think about when was the last time you told yourself you are amazing and looked at all the brilliant things you achieved. Celebrate yourself and look at all the positives. Are you perfect? No offence but probably not but does it matter? NO! You are a brilliant badass who is amazing just the way you are and don’t forget it.